HEY LETS CATCH UP!

2019! Already!

    I cant believe that 2018 has already come and gone. I know its been quite awhile since I have written a personal blog of my life so lets do some catch up on my life.

2013

My best friend and a cousin excused themselves from my life which was really hard on me and left me feeling worthless and hopeless. 

Later that year thru inspiration I was able to reconnect with an old best friend and we spent a lot of time together and went on so many fun adventures and made some great memories. Santa Cruz, The mountains, Snow trips, Windsor, Monterey, San Francisco, Los Angeles so I could audition for the voice, River trips, Bonfires, Karaoke nights, and The beach. the end of 2013 into the beginning of 2014 was great until There was a pothole in the road! maybe it was more like a sink hole that completely destroyed everything. We ended up in a huge fight that and stopped talking. We met up and said our goodbyes to one another as he gave me his army jacket. We went our separate ways. 

 

2014

NASHVILLE!!!!!

January 28, 2014, my sister and I headed East on the Southern Route To NASHVILLE, TN! we drove through Arizona, New Mexico and most of Texas where we stopped and visited our Aunt Jill. We departed Texas and headed to MARDI GRAS!!!! that was such a fun experience in New Orleans, the interesting people all dressed up, the parades, the music, the beads! A memory I will never forget. After Mardi Gras we headed to Nashville. We traveled thru Alabama, Mississippi and up to Tennessee. We arrived in Ft. Campbell, Tn. to my best friends; home. My sister and I had a night out on the town in Downtown Nashville before I dropped her off at the airport to catch her flight back to California. I stayed in Tn. to help out my friends and their kiddos! one of my best experiences and some of my most cherished memories were from January 2014- June 2014!

    While in Nashville I was able to help out my best friend while her husband was deployed. I got to go to Dollywood and Metropolis (Superman capital!). One of the most awesome was CMA fest omg I got to meet so many country music stars and attend so many concerts, autograph signings, tournaments, events and win prizes!  Nashville is amazing while I was there I was also able to audition for a new show called the rising star that only aired for one season.

    My mom flew out to Nashville and drove home with me back to California. We made an adventure out of it and saw the Grand canyon, lake Havasu, the London bridge, Las Vegas, and we made a final stop in Tahoe and met up with all my mom's sisters and cousins for a girls gathering. It was a fun adventure and bonding with my mom.

 

Let's flash forward to 2017... 

That year was like a black hole that sucked up the sun , the moon and my stars leaving me in a vast and eerily quiet darkness that still wants to follow me around 2 years later. 2017 started off like an amazing year, I started seeing this guy who seemed amazing, he said he loved me, we spent so much time together, laughing and making memories. Then MARCH came along and things blasted off into the darkness. I received a letter of demotion in the mail from my job telling me that the NEW supervisor did not think i knew how to do my job.... I want to state here that this is the job I had for 15 years without any complaints, no warnings and a lot of praise for how well I did my job. So new supervisor comes along and all of a sudden I no longer know how to do the work that I have been doing for the last 15 years??? I was devastated this was a job where i enjoyed the customers and my coworkers. I was lost and I had no idea what I was going to do, this began the hole of darkness that would soon engulf my entire universe and it was about to get bigger.... 
    June 2017... so in love with this man I have been seeing he gives me hope after such a devastating loss in my job. I was starting to accept what had happened and trying to feel better then He disappears... I mean he blocks me on all social media and my phone number without any explanation, no warning nothing... WE had just spent an evening with dinner and then watching movies and the next day poof... TO THIS DAY I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED... ... This took my life into a downward spiral i felt like my world was falling apart, I felt worthless and unwanted.... First by my job and now by the man I thought I had a future with.... but it was about to get worse...

    July 2017...MY CAR BREAKS DOWN!!! well hey I mean life is on a roll why not add something else to the darkness that has been slowly growing and surrounding me.... so I have no job and my cars motor blows up and has to be fixed... but hey its about to get EVEN WORSE...
    AUGUST 2017.... THE DARK WHOLE IS ABOUT TO REACH ITS FULL POTENTIAL AND DESTROY ANY LIGHT I HAVE BEEN HANGING ONTO..
     My Granny passed away in August of 2017... she was ill and we knew she was not getting better... we had been spending as much time as we could with her and making memories and making her smile... she started to drift away from us and as she was surrounded by her three children she took her last breath and departed from this world. This opened up a whole world of family drama and pain... Granny wanted people to celebrate her life, music, laughter and joy she always said she wanted people to dance and share the happy memories of the life she had and for everyone she loved to celebrate her life... but the memorial being planned was leaving people out that loved granny. It was turning into a somber event with speeches and hors D'oeuvre instead of a celebration with laughter and food and a tea party. Which you know what would have been fine if it was limiting who could attend. Family fighting is not what Granny wanted but there was no reasoning with them to change who could attend the memorial. so we decided to plan one that could include everyone for a later date which did not go over so well... but we all know granny wanted people to celebrate her life and remember all the fun and happy times we had with her. Here it is the end of August and I am no longer holding it together... I am lost, depressed and hopeless for the future... There is no light left in my world for the rest of this year....

     2018

I am starting to see some light glinting from the darkness that I have been surrounded by. A darkness so vast I feel as though I have been locked into a room with no windows and everything has been painted the darkest of blacks and I am trying to find a light switch that does is so small in comparison to this dark room and it has been placed just out of reach... but I started back to school.  and in August 2018 I found out I only had 6 more classes to be done with my BA in studio art so in august I pick up my last 6 classes and apply for graduation for spring of 2019. I got approved for Graduation pending my grades for the current semester and completion in the Senior Art show that takes place in April 2019. 

    One big spark of light that happened in 2018 was our family road trip. Mom, Dad, my sister, my niece and I head out of California on July 11, 2018 and began our road trip to Minnesota with Granny's ashes so we could lay her to rest in the family cemetery in Bear River Township Minnesota where Granny grew up. We traveled thru Nevada and into Idaho Falls where we stopped for the night.

 we went to the zoo and to the museum to see the Steampunk exhibit. next we traveled into the corner of Montana and down into 

Wyoming where we began our trip through Yellowstone! we got to see the geysers, Old Faithful, had a picnic and got to see some Elk! 

we continued on into South Dakota where stopped again to rest.

Next we drove on to Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse monuments.

After visiting these places we grabbed some food and rolled on down the highway and into MINNESOTA!

we drove through the night into the next morning to Hibbing Minnesota the place where granny lived and my dad grew up, Everyone was asleep and I was behind the wheel and the most beautiful thing a Bald Eagle flew alongside the van for a little while which made me feel at ease and for once I felt like maybe things will be OK. We got to rest for a little bit at our hotel before dressing up and heading to the cemetery with Granny's ashes to meet up with other family members. we were able to have a nice little gathering as we placed her in the ground, we also released pink balloons into the air in remembrance of granny.

After the burial we headed over to the lake cabin of Betty and had dinner with her and her husband. It was peaceful and nice to relax and have a good home cooked meal. after dinner we headed back to the hotel to swim and get some sleep. While in Minnesota we headed to Duluth and road the train and went to the aquarium and train museum. after a day of fun we headed back to the hotel to get some sleep before our long trek back to California!













 Upon leaving the state of Minnesota we made our way south into the state of Iowa (we missed a tornado storm by one day) and then into Illinois. we stopped for the night at our timeshare in Galena Illinois.

We continued on to our next destination St. Louis Missouri and ROUTE 66. We got to see the St. Louis arch and since we have memberships to Six Flags we decided to go to the Six Flags in St.
Louis.

 After leaving Six Flags we drive into Branson and stop at our timeshare for the night. We head out from Branson the next day and head into Oklahoma where we visited Brick-town and took a boat tour and then headed into Texas where we stopped to find a hotel (we missed a huge storm in Missouri by one day). We stop at many Route 66 attractions and monuments. like the center of route 66, 

a leaning water tower, Towns they used as inspiration for the movie cars, dinners and car museums. 










Our next stop was in Santa Rosa New Mexico where we got to go to this awesome place called The Blue Hole (It is a clear blue body of water with a constant 62 °F temperature and constant inflow of 3,000 US gallons per minute. While the surface is only 80 feet in diameter, it expands to a diameter of 130 feet) the water felt so good to be in although it was quite cold it made my migraine go away and my muscles felt so amazing. 





Next stop was in Arizona where we visited the Flintstones place which was very underwhelming. The next morning when we were going to leave and head home we got stuck at the hotel because of a huge lightning storm where we got to watch lightning hit the ground as we sat and ate breakfast in the lobby of the Hotel. 

We finally were able to get on the road and headed home to end out 12 day road trip through 13 states. 

END OF 2018

   I passed the last of my classes. I am working part time at the University Art Gallery. I am thinking about what I want to do after graduation. Things are okay I am still in partial darkness but slowly trying to pull myself back out into the sun and moon and stars to see and feel the light again is my hope.

WELCOME TO 2019 

STAY TUNED