The Pier to the Lighthouse

There is a pier. A long floating wooden pathway that juts out from the shoreline, at the end of this is a lighthouse.

This lighthouse brings a warning to passing ships and brings peace and comfort to the weary sailor who has been lost at sea. 

Across the pier is a strong building built to withstand the storms.

I stare down this wooden path,  I see the guard rails that lend protection and safety to those who dare venture out onto the path. 

These rails also give stability to the adventurer as they walk through the wind, rain or storms. 

The rails also bring guidance to those who become engulfed in the fog that rolls of the ocean. 

I stand at the beginning safely standing on solid ground wondering if I dare venture out onto this daunting path that stretches for in front of me. 

The light catches my eye more than once. 

It calls to me, beckons me to come forth. 

A comforting light, bright and peaceful. 

There at the end of the pier was a glimpse of something special. 

I dreaded at the thought that I dare venture out toward the light on this unknown path, even though the storms were rolling in. 

IS IT SAFE?

WILL I MAKE IT?

AM I STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE IT TO THE END?

IS IT FAR?

IS IT DANGEROUS?

This is life, we are here on earth to find our way back to the light.

Where we will be safe and warm.

Back into a place that we can be in a position to guide other into a safe harbor and out of the storms of life.

We have to go through the challenges/storms of life in order to be able to help others to safety.

The strong will always be blessed with trials in order to be a blessing to others.

I know that through these storms we can adjust our sails, hold tight to the guard rails, and be a lighthouse to help guide others who may be lost back to safety.

Butterfly Fly

Butterfly Fly

I sit and ponder and meditate about how my life has developed. 

I wonder how life would have been if things were different. 

If  I looked different.

My mind wanders through the past and into ideas of what if!

I think about when things started to go the way they did, My mind drifts in the wind to fifth grade, it is here that i can remember that being called a blimp.... fatty.... cow... I knew i was always bigger than the others that I attended school with.... but In my mind I was just like them and I did not care.

As the years went on the name calling became more and more prevalent in my world.

Food became a comfort to me.

Now I am an adult 

I am a grown woman in a world that still hates how I look

I try so hard to break this addiction I have to food, the one thing that has been there for me to give me comfort in times of sadness and sorrow. 

My mind becomes a cocoon and hides away from the world.
I want to transform myself like the Caterpillar waiting to become something more beautiful
I feel like a Caterpillar who has lost its way.
who has tried so hard to become a beautiful butterfly but has not accomplished anything
I try to build this cocoon to transform myself but keep failing
Everything seems to just fall apart.
the fibers that once held together begin to unravel in the winds of life.
Each harsh word thrown at me is like a gust of wind blowing away pieces of my heard like the fibers of the cocoon I was attempting to build to change myself.
My heart tells me to give up because it cant take anymore, I keep fighting and keep building. someday maybe I will accomplish the goals I have set out to build for myself.
Just keep building and getting back up when the gusts of wind knock you down.
Keeping working towards the goals even if you get knocked of track get back up and keep on going!